The official forum of the Royal Navy Volunteer Bands

pussers rum

I had a little chat with Mrs FFoglamp the other day and she related a little dit about her dearly beloved....
During his time at Fleet Band at RAF Northolt, FFoglamp used to run the disco for the Thursday night NAAFI bop. During these ‘interesting’ bops, FFoglamp used to regularly consume on average 13 bottles of Amber Nectar. One particular Thursday, however, considerably more seems to have been consumed. Mrs FFoglamp decided to go home early this night, which is unusual because she has been known to out- drink her husband. She crossed the road to the married patch and saw to her horror that out side their house, FFoglamp’s car boot was wide open and the driver’s door partly ajar. Now, as all military minded alert people should know, this gave cause for worry. She ran back to the Guard Room and told them that she thought someone had tampered with their car. Within 5 minutes the RAF Police had arrived along with their Bomb Disposal Team. One of the Bombys, gingerly crept under the car with his mirror to have a look. At this point FFoglamp staggered down the road and somehow went unnoticed. P****d as a newt he staggered up to the car and said “Ah shhiitt, I left my boot open.” With that he slams the boot shut. They all held their breath waiting for the impending explosion. Nothing happened. The poor guy underneath smacks his head on the underside of the car and starts a ‘release valve of swearing.’ Mrs FFoglamp at this point started to hyperventilate with embarrassment and to compensate for the poor Bomby’s nerves, she went up to FFoglamp, called him lots of things that can’t be repeated and gave him one of the best left hooks anyone has ever witnessed after a NAAFI bop. He ended up flying backwards over a low wall into the neighbour’s garden.

As the RAF retreated from the scene, one of the Plod could be heard saying…. “F****g Marines….if she hadn’t done it I would.”