Sarah_Seahawk
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1 month, 1 day to go!Hi Folks!
Just a reminder that as we have 1 month to go as of tomorrow, you should begin your aclimatisation program...
1. Start staying up until the wee small hours drinking strange foreign drinks.
2. Practice your Cologne B0ll0x. (Works better after stage 1.)
3. Before doing ANYTHING, wait... preferably somewhere cold... with your instrument.
4. Start shopping in the 'Continental' aisle at Tescos - pick anything that looks raw.
5. Take the opportunity to sit on a bus whenever possible.
6. Of an evening, gatecrash an hotel function, get on the stage and dance like your life depends on it.
7. Start introducing Pipeband music into your daily routine.
8. Do some more waiting...
9. Start to organise your packing - it helps to work out what is most important to take so you can leave it at home when the time comes.
10. Practice those all important German phrases - 'Quick! Quick! To the Batmobile!', 'My hovercraft is full of eels', '2 beers please and my friend is paying.'
These 10 tips should ensure a succesful trip for all... anyone got anything to add? 
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ZedHorn
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Sarah I am in fits and my sides ache after readling that... THANKYOU!!!!!
bring it on!!!
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ZedHorn
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Re: 1 month, 1 day to go! | Quote: | | Practice your Cologne B0ll0x |
if I had some I'd practice with them.. until then i shall continue searching for some to play with!!! 
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Princess Fiona
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I'm definately now at stage 3 after getting in at 4 this morning!! I also did some waiting but thankfully no pipers were involved.
However I am going to Edinburgh before our overseas tour so think I can cover all stages in one weekend.
Bring on the stupid dancing
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Sarah_Seahawk
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Re: 1 month, 1 day to go! | ZedHorn wrote: | | Quote: | | Practice your Cologne B0ll0x |
if I had some I'd practice with them.. until then i shall continue searching for some to play with!!! |
Zed, Zed, Zed... B0ll0x is what you're talking here - the difference is...
you'll be in Cologne!
Try and keep up!
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ZedHorn
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yes drill sargeant, thankyou drill sargeant, apologies for blondeness drill sargeant SIR!
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Bobw
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| Zed wrote: |
yes drill sargeant, thankyou drill sargeant, apologies for blondeness drill sargeant SIR! |
Actually Zed, you spell it "Sergeant". And you don't call them Sir either. That is for Officers. Sergeants have to work for a living!
Happy New Year everyone!
Bob (ex-Sergeant) 
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Sarah_Seahawk
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Nice one Centurian - I mean Sergeant!
You keep up the blondeness, Zed! Makes me look good!! LOL!
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ZedHorn
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I want to play Dambusters on the march, Grom says that we can't... can we vote on it???
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Princess Fiona
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We always play domsteadters on the march!
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Princess Fiona
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Sorry way too hungover!! Dambusters! I think i'll just play the great escape and get my coat
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The Donkey
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Can we play Dambusters on the march? In Germany?
Short answer, No
Long answer, Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo !
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ZedHorn
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but do you actually think they'd know what we were playing????
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Sarah_Seahawk
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Zed...
'Good luck...'
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greenfairy
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I'm starting to worry that I might not have enough crazy to survive this trip...
...nah, who am I kidding - can't wait!
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Sarah_Seahawk
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| greenfairy wrote: | | I'm starting to worry that I might not have enough crazy to survive this trip... |
GF, you can always borrow some of mine!   
Plenty to go around!!
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Sarah_Seahawk
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| ZedHorn wrote: | | I want to play Dambusters on the march |
We have managed to get away with Col Bogey...? Except the trio... 4 flats... what do they think I am???
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Bobw
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| Sarah wrote: |
We have managed to get away with Col Bogey |
But Colonel Bogey was made famous in the film "Bridge over the River Kwai" which was about the Japanese..... Perhaps we could have a trip to Tokyo!?!?
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ZedHorn
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| Bobw wrote: | | Perhaps we could have a trip to Tokyo!?!? |
I'm defo up for that one!!!!
and as for GF needing a bit of spare crazy... if Sarah runs out of extra you can have some of mine!! I'd hazard a guess that Gromit is a good bet as second reserve!!
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greenfairy
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Good to know you've all got me covered 
Will hopefully come fully stocked with crazy but life's taken some out of me lately....I guess Cologne will be a good way to top up! 
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The Donkey
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I bought Laura a new bottle of crazy for xmas. Apparently she wanted perfume.
Women eh?
Lol
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The BB's
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I think you have all the crazy you need after all you did put your name down........
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Gromit
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| ZedHorn wrote: | | Bobw wrote: | | Perhaps we could have a trip to Tokyo!?!? |
I'm defo up for that one!!!!
and as for GF needing a bit of spare crazy... if Sarah runs out of extra you can have some of mine!! I'd hazard a guess that Gromit is a good bet as second reserve!! |
Concur - see the 'Gromit is Spesh' thread - bless - I am kwaaazzeeeee. xx
PS -Eeeeeeeek - just noticed the days to go chart and I haven't yet RAS'd any pot noodles or Tixy Lix.
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ZedHorn
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junglie is still on leave - we could e-mail him a list.. better still send it in smoke signal Jungle styleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Gromit
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| ZedHorn wrote: | | junglie is still on leave - we could e-mail him a list.. better still send it in smoke signal Jungle styleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee |
No need for smoke signal - him junglie - him have rations - him have gadgets.
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Big Ted
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Pot Noodles!!!!!!!Can anybody explain why for 360 days a year we all think pot noodles are cr*p, but for 5 days a year they become the staple diet??
OK I know that any food is good, and that we need stodge to soak up the excess local fermented drink............but pot noodles??
Big Ted
PS only 25 days to go....................yip yip yipedee!!!!
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ZedHorn
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on the subject of food don't forget that beer is technically a vegetarian meal!
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Sarah_Seahawk
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You can keep your pot noodles! Yuk!
Remember...
The wurst is yet to come... 
S xx
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Gromit
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| Sarah_Seahawk wrote: | You can keep your pot noodles! Yuk!
Remember...
The wurst is yet to come...
S xx |
CHING BOOM !!
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Gromit
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Re: Pot Noodles!!!!!!! | Big Ted wrote: | Can anybody explain why for 360 days a year we all think pot noodles are cr*p, but for 5 days a year they become the staple diet??
OK I know that any food is good, and that we need stodge to soak up the excess local fermented drink............but pot noodles??
Big Ted
PS only 25 days to go....................yip yip yipedee!!!! |
Yeah but , no but , unless you are Tom-Ray-Mears-Page, you will only have the use of an urn/kettle to create a hot scooby snack at daft O'clock.
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Axl
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Forget all this food nonsense, I remember the accomodation does a fantastic coffee first thing in a morning. Don't they, Grommit?
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ZedHorn
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that'll be a sextuple espresso for you Chief!!!!
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Gromit
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| Axl wrote: | | Forget all this food nonsense, I remember the accomodation does a fantastic coffee first thing in a morning. Don't they, Grommit? |
Yet another dit for the 'Gromit is Spesh' thread !
Sorry Axl  How are the dilated pupils now? Note to self, watch some one else use the coffee machine first, or learn German.
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ZedHorn
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20 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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bassdrumal
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Ok Im scared now after reading that load of tosh......i mean useful information. I said to Bandy Dave that i didnt even know what the score was for the trip. Well Alex, we get up, go to a gig, stop gig, drink, then go to another gig and then drink after that one too. Ollie then mentioned crazy ducking, diving and spinning round on the march!! One thing in my favour though. I am the Peter Pan of the Royal Navy, so it seems that i will fit right in!
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Bobw
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Bassdrumal:- Assuming you are playing bass drum (Uncle Tim is joining me on Eb Bass from what I have heard) the only thing you need to remember is to hit the thing f***ing hard! On the Monday parade you will be carrying it for over three hours and we will be a large band! Oh, you also have to learn the cymbal parts so that you can nod to Anne from Neptune so she knows when to go 'CRASH'!
You will have to think up some sort of exercise to build up the muscles in your right arm ........ 
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dangerouspiper2
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If I may be permitted ? Exercie for right arm as follows : Exercise for left arm : But use the left arm. Hope this is useful .Dave
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Sarah_Seahawk
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Good old DP2!!
Never panics... gives sound advice!!
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Princess Fiona
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what's this about just drinking in between gigs? What about during.
Have they changed the rules??!!!
Any virgins out there don't forget your fancy dress, hip flask ( something to put in it of course ) and don't forget to remove the part of your brain that needs sleep.
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ZedHorn
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Princess - my sentiments exactly... glad to see we Heronites spot the deliberate mistake in Prentice's advice!!! drinking between gigs indeed... I never did hear of such tomfoolery!
throat lozenges, camelpaks and party feet all recommended!
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ZedHorn
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PS Sarah please note the time - I am already adjusting myself into Cologne Clock... hang on.... I hear music - must go dance!!!! kolsch anyone??
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ZedHorn
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| Bobw wrote: | | Bassdrumal; Assuming you are playing bass drum |
From what I understand Bobw, the 'artist formerly known as fat bas&ard' is our bass drummer this year. A cologne virgin and an antipodean to boot!! Donkey, Sponge and TheBBs have had him in vigorous training for several months however so I have no doubt in his capabilities...
looks kinda cute in a tiger too...
grrrrr Frankie baby!!!!
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Bobw
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Ah! So Alex must be banging cymbals (probably in anti-phase to Anne!).
We shouldn't need him for his medical skills, we already have surgeons, doctors, paramedics and nurses up the ying-yang. Why do we bother taking EHIC forms? We have plenty of medical staff. We could even convert the back seat of the bus into an ambulance bed and fit sirens and blue flashing lights! As for surgical alcohol - I think there will be enough!
I suppose Alex could help out with the community singing on the bus 
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Axl
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You leave the back seat alone, that's where I always sit. However, if you want to install hot and cold running nurses, I'll never object.
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ZedHorn
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| Bobw wrote: | | we already have surgeons, doctors, paramedics and nurses up the ying-yang. Why do we bother taking EHIC forms? We have plenty of medical staff |
Would any of you actually let me operate on you - intoxicatedly assisted by Linda and Sarah given the combined acquired tremor of all three, our rum breath could act as vapourous anaesthetic alone! I think an EHIC is a jolly good idea..... I am not on duty, although I seem to recall patching up Biffs finger 2 years ago one morning! I'll have kit as usual just in case!
as for flashing lights and nee-nahs!!! bring it on!!
and Axl... you wish is my command.... 
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Gromit
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| Axl wrote: | | You leave the back seat alone, that's where I always sit. However, if you want to install hot and cold running nurses, I'll never object. |
Funny you should say that young man as Heron has a fancy dress theme........
Zed & co - how do you fancy travelling out in 'the' fancy dress - well it is the 20th trip, and probably the last one, and we have to chat noir Biff & Tim who did it last year.... ahh go on ... you know you all wanna....
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EMMA
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Quite relieved I am not going - sounds like a busman's holiday!!!!
And.......... I am not trained in the care of adults anyway!!! Have fun x
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ZedHorn
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| EMMA wrote: | | And.......... I am not trained in the care of adults anyway!!! |
a juvenile nurse is what we need..... there are no adults on this trip when i checked the nominal last night!!! 
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Gromit
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| EMMA wrote: | Quite relieved I am not going - sounds like a busman's holiday!!!!
And.......... I am not trained in the care of adults anyway!!! Have fun x |
It's actually a holiday on a bus 
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EMMA
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| ZedHorn wrote: | | EMMA wrote: | | And.......... I am not trained in the care of adults anyway!!! |
a juvenile nurse is what we need..... there are no adults on this trip when i checked the nominal last night!!! |
Well....... I thought it ......... you said it
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Bobw
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| Quote: | | there are no adults on this trip when i checked the nominal last night!!! |
I always find it difficult to know who is who on the nominal list - it is too formal. "Mr this" and "Ms so-&-so". And it doesn't say who is playing what instrument either. It doesn't even say Gromit or GreenFairy or Axl are going unless you happen to know their real names.
Hands up everyone who knew that Mr R Wilton is the ugly bald git with specs and a 'tache, that doesn't wear a Navy uniform and carries a bass or trombone.
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EMMA
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| Bobw wrote: | | Quote: | | there are no adults on this trip when i checked the nominal last night!!! |
I always find it difficult to know who is who on the nominal list - it is too formal. "Mr this" and "Ms so-&-so". And it doesn't say who is playing what instrument either. It doesn't even say Gromit or GreenFairy or Axl are going unless you happen to know their real names.
Hands up everyone who knew that Mr R Wilton is the ugly bald git with specs and a 'tache, that doesn't wear a Navy uniform and carries a bass or trombone. |
I would have known!!! Have fun Bob!!! Hope to see you soon 
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greenfairy
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Don't worry Bob, you'll know who I am soon enough I'm sure
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Princess Fiona
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If I remember rightly our resident nurse is also very good at cleaning up vomit! Although I'd rather this skill wasn't tested again. I'm envoking a Bailey's ban.
All this talk of professionals I'm feeling very inadequate as a Banker!
As for our fancy dress on the bus Gromit, we do want to get some sleep as I don't think Axl would let us if we did!
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ZedHorn
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i'm with marie on this one Grom.... plus we might get a tad chilly on the ferry!!!
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ZedHorn
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PS - *virtual hand in air....* I know who you are Bob!! and whilst I agree that you wear specs and a tache, under your crabfat cap you can't tell that you're follicularly challenged and you are as beautiful as the rest of us after my 14th rum of the day!!!
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The BB's
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I always know who you are Bob, I don't need any clues!!!!!
 
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Bobw
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| Quote: | | I always know who you are Bob, I don't need any clues!!!!! |
Yes, you just have to follow the bum notes to their source! Like the leprechaun at the end of a rainbow, there you will find me! 
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Axl
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Correct me if I'm wrong, and I'm sure you will, but isn't it supposed to be a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow? Leprechauns are found in the wilds of Eire.
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Bobw
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I thought that leprechauns buried their gold at the end of the rainbow ..... I am sure bluebirds fly somewhere over them ...... or is that the white cliffs of Dover?
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Axl
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I'm sure they hid their lucky charms there. And no, the blue bird flew over the Atlantic with a ribbon in the fastest time ever. Or sang in Barclay Card. Or sank in Canesten Water doing the land speed CD. (The bluebirds are medium-sized, mostly insectivorous or omnivorous birds in the genus Sialia of the thrush family Turdidae.)
Or something.
I'll get my coat.
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ZedHorn
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I do solemnly declare that on this day - at this ridiculous hour (when i am at work) we do officially now have enough evidence to state that we are now all talking - or typing to be accurate!!!
Cologne B*ll*cks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
great!
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Sarah_Seahawk
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Good to know you've been practicing, Zed!
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ZedHorn
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i had 2 hours sleep yesterday..... and i slept in my sleeping bag on a very uncomfortable chair in a cold room... night shifts are just like cologne except sober, I must try and behave and you get paid! I'd rather be p*ssed and singing tho!
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Sarah_Seahawk
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Had my staff do last night! 23 hours awake by the end of the night - com'on! Nights - exactly! Although I do like the fact I can eat a Cornetto at 3am - because I want to!!
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Sarah_Seahawk
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Oh... and get back to work!! Lol!
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Bobw
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| Sarah wrote: | | Although I do like the fact I can eat a Cornetto at 3am |
Just one????????
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Sarah_Seahawk
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Bob - you know me far too well!!! 
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ZedHorn
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| Bobw wrote: | | Sarah wrote: | | Although I do like the fact I can eat a Cornetto at 3am |
Just one???????? |
give it to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee................
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bassdrumal
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Bob - Indeed i am the cymballer (made up that word coz i like it) for Cologne, but of course, singing tasks will likely be led by me ------with or without alcohol
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dollydrumstick
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Bit confuddled.......So how do we know when we've  (oops wrong one)  (better) gone off topic or are speaking Cologne goolies 
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dollydrumstick
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Well look at thatTyped in the b word and it came out as goolies automatically....... what other words can we have fun with....
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Sarah_Seahawk
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Re: Bit confuddled....... | dollydrumstick wrote: | | So how do we know when we've (oops wrong one) (better) gone off topic or are speaking Cologne goolies |
I think you've answered your own question, Dolly!! 
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ZedHorn
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found that one out myself Dollster this weekend hence I wrote it b*ll*cks!
try tw@t, pi$$, $hit and fark
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dollydrumstick
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Wormstw@t, pi$$, $hit and fark nope tried them an they all came out alright
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ZedHorn
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what about w@*%????
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bassdrumal
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Thats an easy swear word..........WORK !!
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Axl
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Typing all these sweary words is neither big nor clever.
However, I am 6'2" (I'm big) and a nuclear physicist (I'm clever) so;
f*ck sh*t a*se c*nt t*ts scr*w b*ll**ks p*ss w*nk t*rds f*lch m*nge f*nny kn*b-ch**se etc. Carry on to the right.
I know I've probably missed out loads of important ones, but hopefully we won't need to swear again for a while. Or, I've just encouraged you all to submit your favourites.
Ho hum.
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The Donkey
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Nobody's mentioned the worst words of all ...........................
ALCOHOL FREE !!!!!!!!!!!!
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ZedHorn
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closely followed by - Abduls is shut!!!
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bassdrumal
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Or ..........
"Sorry we're closed"
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Sarah_Seahawk
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How about....
"We'll just run that through from the top before we go to the pub."
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Princess Fiona
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or 'we're playing tubby the tuba in our next concert'
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ZedHorn
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or - no no honestly we'd all love to do another sax solo at the festival!!!
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Princess Fiona
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OOHH cutting, I'm telling!!
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Princess Fiona
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or 'we're doing clarinet polka in cologne'
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ZedHorn
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I don't know what you mean! :-)
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The BB's
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Oh what a surprise we ARE doing clarinet polka in Cologne
tw*t, a*se etc
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ZedHorn
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i have 3 notes in that entire piece... i think i can safely say I shall leave the music behind!!!
anyone for Eagle Squadron - Anne, Axl??????
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greenfairy
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Zed - fancy swapping instruments for Clarinet Polka then? I reckon my horn skills are up to playing not-many notes  And it'd sound a darn sight better than my attempt to play it on the clarinet cos I've not picked one up since before Chrimbo  Really did ought to re-remeber how to play the damn thing before we go.....
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ZedHorn
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| greenfairy wrote: | | Zed - fancy swapping instruments for Clarinet Polka then? I reckon my horn skills are up to playing not-many notes And it'd sound a darn sight better than my attempt to play it on the clarinet cos I've not picked one up since before Chrimbo Really did ought to re-remeber how to play the damn thing before we go..... |
YES YES YES... THAT MEANS I GET TO WEAR A SILLY HAT AND EVERYFINK!!!
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Princess Fiona
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Yes I can confirm we are playing Clarinet Polka although minus the hats this year I'm afraid!!
Anyone is welcome to play my part for it as I'd rather play three notes and stand at the back of the stage drinking.
Don't know what else. I did vote for instant concert though!!
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EMMA
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| ZedHorn wrote: | | I don't know what you mean! :-) |
Ooooooooooooooooo who's that then Zed???
Come on dish the gossip!!!
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Princess Fiona
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It's all a cover up Emma!!
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Princess Fiona
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I'm off to Edinburgh tomorrow for some pre Cologne training!
Thought I'd better break myself in gently to the sound of bagpipes. It's my friends hen weekend so I sent her a picture of me in my fancy dress for Cologne. Now she's very worried! HE HE
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ZedHorn
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but you haven't got your gloves yet????
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ZedHorn
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| EMMA wrote: | Ooooooooooooooooo who's that then Zed???
Come on dish the gossip!!! |
hmm let me think.... err... half a double-weeble!!
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EMMA
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ooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh got you now!!!
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Axl
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Zed, you're a bad girl. 
But that's not necessarily a bad thing! 
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ZedHorn
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| Axl wrote: | Zed, you're a bad girl.
But that's not necessarily a bad thing! |
why thankyou very much!!!
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