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General Melchett

Northern Ireland

I know there are many ex FOSNI ranks here many holding the Scotland Band Long Service Medal (GSM NI) so what about all your favourite "over the water dits".....
From me, 1995 FOSNI band doing the gigs for 50th anniversary of WWII. Remember this is pre-ceasefire, Deli and Eastney hooker were both there. We started off in Bangor, staying in Palace barracks with the charming, hospitable bunch: The Parachute Regt...... Not being able to buy a Times or Telegraph in the NAAFI as they were for the grown ups in the Occifers Mess!
Anyhoo, off we went into Bangor that evening for Guinness testing. Off to bed and the next day off to an RUC station to get changed. We got off the bus inside the compound and went inside to have tea and biccies prior to getting rigged. Half an hour later we are all outside gleaming as ever. The RUC and Booties protecting us are getting into their body armour and loading up weapons whilst laughing at us - How reassuring! Never was there so much competition not to be on the outside files..... Luckily, all went quickly and without too much incident, just the odd bit of barracking from the odd provo.
Co-admin

KOff! I only needed 3 nights for my gong and never got them!

Not as bad as Dungannon when we went from the barracks (Camp) over to the sports centre across the road where the gig was fully rigged as the lads from 42CDORM hard targeted along side us! They were cammed out with weapons ready and we like a bunch of Christmas trees bimbled down the hill across the road and into the sports centre. There were 2 of the GD lads laying in the hedge by the road as we sauntered past and they smiled at us and it wasn't a reassuring smile either, more a "I wonder if they make it all the way" smile.
The bonus was that the front row was made up of wives whos husbands were convicted and in prison. As the CO said to us "All the time they are there lads, you are safe. If they get up and leave, I would consider you doing the same thing". Luckily for us, they stayed the whole concert and really enjoyed it as well... esspecially Riverdance!

Happy days eh Jos? Remember the int guys who'd been recceing the gig outside Londonderry for a whole week and got us lost on the coach on the way to the place they had spent all week recceing? That was most UNFunny! 5p - 50p - 5p - 50p - dustbin lid!
General Melchett

Wahhhh! Forgot about Dungannon, weren't they all wives of Provos locked up in the Maze? The Gravs were sure we were going to get hit. I remember having a few sips of the section hip flask thinking, If I go down I go down happy!
The second one we were off to stay in St Angelo Barracks (?) near Londonderry and had to do a gig for some big time Ulster fellas..... All red white and blue kerb stones, feck the fenians etc.... Another quality pussers gig. Anyhoo, whoever had recce'd the route hadn't. We were given an armed guard in the shape of some perce sprog who'd been in the province less time than we had and was about 18 (just). He'd fallen asleep and we'd gone down a road that got smaller and smaller..... The video on the coach at the time was "Blown Away"! (film about IRA bomb makers, why that was picked I shudder to think) Anyway the road got smaller and smaller. Eventually we end up at a farm in the middle of the cuds in what to us looks like proper bandit country. We all had to get off the buss as it tentatively reversed down a mile of single track! Happy days
Co-admin

Oh yes!
General Melchett wrote:
weren't they all wives of Provos locked up in the Maze?

And we were so glad they stayed.

That gig in th elittle church hall was the one where "Buglers not required" was uttered and before the last word had died we were gone out the back door. We bumped into one of the local plod and asked "Where is the nearest pub mate"
"Thru the arch and it's right there"
We went through the arch and there was one on the right and one on the left... we picked the wrong one!
"I think youse lads would be wanting the beer from just up the road, we'll not be serving you here, well, not with anything you'd be wanting anyhow."
5 buglers exited stage left at mach 1
General Melchett

What you always need Deli is the ability to say "Feck off" as loud as you can Father Jack stylee! Well, either that or the ability to run away very quickly giggling like little girls! Nice on Royal......

It was on that trip i think that Dan Young saluted me at a cash point in Bangor then dropped his ID card on the floor. I wandered casually around the corner before finding him later and giving him the "good news" with plenty of Father Jack expletives, I thought we were going to end up in the back of a black cab heading down the Divis flats to be knee capped.
Co-admin

St Angelo... wasn't that the night we were in those portacabins and there was one almighty bang? Something big and heavy hit the roof. THere were anti mortar nets and the like above the portacabins. I was flat out but was told that the whole grot, to a man, sat up, bolt upright in bed on hearing this bang and then like zombies laid back down slowly when they realised it was nothing.
General Melchett

That was a charming place wasn't it! 6 months there on a roulemont would send you barking.
Sharpy

Did a gig in Belfast last year I think it was in the main green in the centre of the city. As usual the band was micced up like a Genesis gig and going thru a PA Spinal Tap would've been proud of. Intel had already said to expect protests from the Republican side of things and about 10 minutes into the concert they turned up, waving banners and shouting "Royal Marine babykillers go home!" Nice!! Anyway, they march to the front of the stage and try to disrupt the show. Joe Public blanks them completly and Dave Matthews, who was in charge of sound, just cranked the PA up to 11!! They couldn't hear themselves shout thru the volume of us playing Tchaik 4 and went home!! Quite surreal really!!
General Melchett

So that's why you take all the pa on gigs..... Hush hush Anti provo device!
RAB

Not ignoring your thread Jos, but I posted my favourite NI Dits elsewhere. However, we went across to do a Lord Mayor's Belfast Show at the height of the troubles, early 70's. I was always a bit wary of the main colours of our uniforms. To add to this problem, when the dots were handed out, Mr. H had chosen "God Bless the Prince of Wales". (the same tune as The Orangemens'Song..The cry was No Surrender), and "Three Cheers for the Red White and Blue." (The Green Grassy Slopes of the Boyne)..Fred Waters and I pointed this out to the boss, and they were hastily removed from the NI repertoire..... ..Possibly a narrow escape....
General Melchett

I think you probably had a bit of a narrow escape there mate!
bootybandy

Dan Archer can verify the next little dit.Northern Ireland Schools tour late 70's early 80's. Ron Kempton, School, 9mm Pistol, Lost magazine. $hit. Panic, found magazine, relief, Headmaster, no weapons Sir, Clunk - 9mm pistol falls on floor. Waaaahhhhhh...... :smt046
Len

when over there one trip in the seventies, i had to take my GCE English exam. It was arranged that Ken Sharpe would take the sealed exam paper, and deliver it to a RM colonel who would open it and supervise me taking the exam. We were in moscow camp, and as I started, our friends from the Spouth started heaving some mortars at us. Cololnel dissappears smartish, I turn paper over, first subject on the essay list is "music"! spent next two hours writing jibberish, and sh%&*ing myself....passed though!
Dan A

Remember the pistol episode well!!!! At that time, do to a shortage of escorts... because of the $hit going down Buglers had taken over escorting the Band WWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH and to that end myself, Ron Mansbridge, Tom Plummer, I think Tommy Lawton and a couple of others were sent to 45 to do some training on SMGs and 9 mm pistols... as it turned out we all became very sharp at the quick draw from a shoulder holster and banging out 12 rounds.... fire and movement....hard to believe but there you go. When we got over the water to Moscow Camp...... Ron, the Boss .... bless him wanted a pistol too.... and as it turned out on the range to fire in the weapons was an excellent shot!!! Thats bandies for you!!

Ron had lost a lot of weight and as none of the bulgers were given up the James Bond gear ... he had to put his weapon down the back of his trousers... unfortunately it fell into his kaks and had to be retrieved through his flies.... I think it was this "quick draw" that the Head teacher witnessed..... I agree it does not fill you with confidence!! Anyway Ron had two spare mags that he had misplaced...of course it was court martial and fecking big fines for losing one round losing about 30 was not good!!!!.......... On arrival at Moscow Camp after the days work...... a DofM was seen to helping to unload the pantech very quickly and came up clutching two mags from his helmet box!!!! Phew... he said!!!! ( like feck he did!!!!!LOLOL) Anyway thats it..... We never got shot , did not shoot anyone.. but played to a lot of kids.... all in all..... the Band played on... as it should!!!!

remind me to tell you about Geoffrey John Hills first trip to Ulster with Al Flook and myself......
MrJpig

DAN

Don`t forget to tell us about Geoffrey John Hills first trip to Ulster with Al Flook and you.
Dan A

OOOOOH OK Andy if I must..... but not right now as i am working!!!! Thanks for asking anyway !!

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