Apricot
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Quote of the week 2007New Year...New Thread...New Quote of the Week  (horray)
My favourite from the week before last:
Female conductor to male trombonist
"I'll get that enlarged for you" 
Last week
CMN to band "when you're playing don't think about gnomes"?????????
(damn he can read minds!!!!  )
There was a really good one in the curry house but I can't remember it, any offers? 
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A
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Pick one of dozens!
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Apricot
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but I can't remember any - doh!
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Apricot
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I know I have the memory of a goldfish at times...comes with being a small fruit I reckon, brain is soft and squishy!!!
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greenfairy
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I wrote down a great one on Tuesday but I've lost the piece of paper 
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bootybandy
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Quote of the year. "Never take your Greyhound on holiday to Scotland".
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Apricot
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GF it was along the lines of..."adjust yourselves as you're going along"
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greenfairy
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Aye, twas something like that.
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Hornblower
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| greenfairy wrote: | | I wrote down a great one on Tuesday but I've lost the piece of paper |
For me, the above is the quote of the week
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Apricot
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greenfairy
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You look like you're having a bit of a WKM there my fruity friend 
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Apricot
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oh yes!!!
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A
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CMS's tshirt "Feel free to ask me anything, I have reached the ahge where I know everything!"
CMN: "I was given this shirt when I was 21."
Me: "Oi! I'm 21!"
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eastneyslapper
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Where have all the Vollys gone?? Deathly quiet in here tonight...
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ANTS
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| eastneyslapper wrote: |
Where have all the Vollys gone?? Deathly quiet in here tonight... |
ahhh....you missing us ES...
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windypipes
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I miss you!
Enjoyed being with you all on Friday
xx
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eastneyslapper
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| ANTS wrote: | | eastneyslapper wrote: |
Where have all the Vollys gone?? Deathly quiet in here tonight... |
ahhh....you missing us ES... |
Of course!! Your friendly (and often bizarre..  ) banter is light relief from the rants of some of the 'Grumpy Old Men' who frequent this forum... I think many would agree too 
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Hornblower
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You total ar$e.
You know fine well I'm on line at this moment and once again decide to make an inane comment to draw me out from behind your cloak of anonymity.
Congratulations, you succeeded. I'd been doing such a good job of ignoring you too - out of respect for others on this site. (I know they don't want to see this sordid little spat.)
Just in case you hadn't noticed, the only time I get 'grumpy' (as you very quaintly put it) is when total idiots like you feel like having a pop.
Don't you get it? If we knew who you were we could take it - no probs.
Look at the $hit that Botty has to put up with...
Just foget it moron. I know I'm wasting my time.
One last thing - if you actually knew me (as many on this great forum do) you'd know that I'm as far from grumpy as it's possible to get - it's just that I've never been able to forgive a fool.
I've had my say - you can try and wind me up as much as you like from this point forward, but until we know who you are - you don't exist.
Now Foxtrot Oscar like a good little boy.
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ANTS
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I'll run for cover!!!!
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eastneyslapper
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| Hornblower wrote: | You total ar$e.
Now Foxtrot Oscar like a good little boy. |
Amazing!!! It took all of 18 minutes for someone to try on the cap that fits...
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windypipes
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Yea, I think I will buy 2 hard hats..............
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eastneyslapper
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| windypipes wrote: | | Yea, I think I will buy 2 hard hats.............. |
Oh??? Is there someone else from your family who wants to go dig up coal?? Coz that would make them a...
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RAB
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| windypipes wrote: | | Yea, I think I will buy 2 hard hats.............. |
God idea Farty.. I think you and ES will make a lovely couple. You seem to share the same humour genes and do your best to ruin some excellent threads on this site.
WELL YOU'RE ONLY MAKING A FOOL OF YOURSELVES, AND NOT US..
I can't speak for the members of Nelson band, but I'm sure glad I never had to share a grot with either of you.....
And I KNOW I didn't...
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bootybandy
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It's difficult to find the quote of the week from what has been said recently. I think I'll give this thread a wide berth.
Thank you, and it's goodnight from me.
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Hornblower
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Dear HMS Nelson bandroom.
(No, don't run away just yet!)
I wish to make a very humble and abject apology for using your great thread as a room for an argument. (No it isn't)
I have no excuse, other than my lack of self control and all I can do is promise I'll never use your bandroom in such a selfish way again.
Stuey
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A
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 Love you Stuey!
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greenfairy
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Give that man a cookie.
You're a sweetie as ever Stuey 
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windypipes
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Come down and join us HB, you will love the drinking parties !
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Apricot
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You know you're always forgiven Stuey 
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MrJpig
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| Hornblower wrote: |
One last thing - if you actually knew me (as many on this great forum do) you'd know that I'm as far from grumpy as it's possible to get - it's just that I've never been able to forgive a fool.
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He has got a point there 
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Nish
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Neil to Horn section - "I'll try and get it up"
Made the cornet section laugh anyway
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A
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Who is CMS?
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Nish
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See above edit, twas a very tired typo
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A
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Buttercup: 'what were you doing at the time?'
Gus: 'her daughter'
*********
A: 'I can't get it wet enough'
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greenfairy
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Oh what a fabulous evening....
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Apricot
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conductor " I think we'll play a march now"
newbie "a march, how does that one go then?" *as he is flicking through his pack*
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A
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Guest conductor:
"Sorry that I don't know anyone's name, I only know......that girl there"
(During Marvin Hamlisch) "Right, let's do the next bit, What I Did For Luuuuurrvve."
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bootybandy
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Nice bit of Alto Saxamaphone solo for that bit. Luverly.
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Hornblower
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| A wrote: | Guest conductor:
"Sorry that I don't know anyone's name, I only know......that girl there"
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ROFLMFHO....
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A
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Yes, I was a bit nervous what witht he guest conductor and all, but I think I did OK on it!
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A
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| Hornblower wrote: | | A wrote: | Guest conductor:
"Sorry that I don't know anyone's name, I only know......that girl there"
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ROFLMFHO.... |
I wouldn't mind except we've known each other for 2 years!!!!
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Hornblower
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Even bigger ROFLMFHO 
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A
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(Two hours before rehearsal)
A's phone: *ring ring*
A: 'Hello?'
Guest Conductor: 'Hi Alex, I'm having trouble getting hold of Neil....'
A: 'That might be because he's in Germany.'
GC: 'Oh!? Yes that might be it. Can you help me then?'
A: 'Of course, what do you need?'
GC: 'Um, when does the rehearsal start? Will the building be open? If not where are the keys? Is there anything specific that you need to rehearse? How long does the rehearsal last?' etc etc etc
Nice to see Neil keeps his substitutes well informed!
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Apricot
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A to her band...
"has everybody got it up?"
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greenfairy
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No real QOTW this week but all I can say is......
............Pompey's finest kareoke!
I honestly have to say I've not cried with laughter that much in a long time - can we hire whoever she was for a party as it was just too awesome!
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Nish
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I was gutted she called it a night when she did, I was getting ready to provide some video evidence for all to enjoy. Bless her.......
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greenfairy
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We could always go back next week to see if she's there.......
Absolute sheer liquid musical genius, I only have to think about it and I start to grin 
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Nish
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Just think, if shes a regualr then you can listen to her every Monday and Thursday evening from the comfort of your own room! Lucky you!
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greenfairy
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*starts saving up to buy noise-cancelling headphones*
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Apricot
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well now we know exactly where to go when we've had a shocking rehearsal and we'll be safe in the knowledge there will always be worse attempts at music than ours!!!!
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Nish
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The rehearsal wasn't too bad, its just a shame we're no longer allowed to communicate verbally during them!
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ANTS
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| Nish wrote: | | The rehearsal wasn't too bad, its just a shame we're no longer allowed to communicate verbally during them! |
sounds like I missed all the fun at the rehearsal last night. Our dear 2nd cornet player......at it again!!!
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windypipes
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Yes my dear!
We all missed you
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greenfairy
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Saxophanist to flautist mid-rehearsal
"I really fancy some hummus"
Later that evening. In the pub. Conversation is happening when someone stops, mid-sentence, to go "ooooh mayonnaise" randomly.
Fabulous!
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A
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Did my plea of 'Don't put that on QOTW' mean nothing to you?
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Hornblower
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| A wrote: | | Did my plea of 'Don't put that on QOTW' mean nothing to you? |
At least you weren't 'named and shamed' A - but you did just out yourself!!!
Special. 
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greenfairy
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| A wrote: | | Did my plea of 'Don't put that on QOTW' mean nothing to you? |
Ah but just think of the hundreds of more embarrassing ones that I haven't put up here!
Love you
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Hornblower
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I think I speak for all forumites out here that would simply LOVE to hear more of the alleged quotes GF! 
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greenfairy
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But there are so many of them and I forget so easily
Plus I value my life too much.....
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A
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Sensible woman.
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greenfairy
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D'you know I think that may be the first time anyone's ever called me sensible 
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A
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And it's likely to be the last!!!!
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A
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| Hornblower wrote: | | A wrote: | | Did my plea of 'Don't put that on QOTW' mean nothing to you? |
At least you weren't 'named and shamed' A - but you did just out yourself!!!
Special. |
I know
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greenfairy
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| A wrote: | | And it's likely to be the last!!!! |
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Hornblower
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Put those claws and handbags away girls!
You're both sensible and special.
Let that be an end to it!!!
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ANTS
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| Hornblower wrote: | Put those claws and handbags away girls!
You're both sensible and special.
Let that be an end to it!!! |
well until the next quote comes out anyway...>!!!!
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Hornblower
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Good point ANTS!!
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greenfairy
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Nish to a gaggle of Volly Dollies eagerly awaiting a ride - "I can't get it in!"
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A
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And then: 'I can't find the hole!!!!!!!'
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greenfairy
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"It's the wrong one!!!"
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Apricot
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*vollies on the floor helpless with laughter by this point*
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Nish
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What?.......... I struggle to find it in the dark............
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greenfairy
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I suppose it is quite small and it was very dark.....
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Apricot
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*saying nothing*
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Nish
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*What she said*
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Astradyne
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Quiz time:
Who said this at last night's rehearsal - "It's [Toccata in D Minor] on the MFM 2002 CD - go and listen to it."
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greenfairy
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Someone was definately on a quoteage roll last night!
But hey, you forget that it was definately the whole band was wrong, not just that one person 
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Nish
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Lol, I wasn't trying to be cheeky, just helpful. (I mentioned something about a MFM 2002 CD) 
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greenfairy
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Some people are beyond helping though....
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Astradyne
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It's easy - it just goes "boo-DAH, boo-DAH, boo-DAH, boo-DAAAAAAAHHH..."
Oh, was that offensive to Buddhists?
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windypipes
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No
I understood it. Unlike some of the mentallity in nelson!
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Apricot
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Just to be different I think of that bit as um-cha, um-um-cha, um-um-cha, um-um-chaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
N.B. A was so impressed by my um-cha singing she wants to make me a cymbal Little does she know I am totally incapable of playing anything percussion-related in time! I tried once for the school orchestra when I was 11, I haven't been allowed to try again since!!!!!! 
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A
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But who else will do the *ching* of the *boom ching* when we play Olympic Spirit?
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greenfairy
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Isn't that why we have a drummer?
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ANTS
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| greenfairy wrote: | | Isn't that why we have a drummer? |
his cymbal might be broken.......
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eastneyslapper
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It really needs to be a big pair for that bit in Olympic Spirit...
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windypipes
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Who has a big pair????
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Apricot
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| A wrote: | | But who else will do the *ching* of the *boom ching* when we play Olympic Spirit? |
Who's doing the boom? Obvously not me, I can only pretend to be 1 percussion instrument at a time. If the boom is in time I might manage the ching in the right place, then again...
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A
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Daf can do the boom on the kit, but the ching sounds a bit rubbish on a hi hat or his cymbal. Needs a proper pair of cymbals m'dear.
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greenfairy
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Can't one of your 6 million flutes do it? Cos I don't want my clarinet instructor taken away from me 
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A
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There aren't six million flutes. There are seven million.
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greenfairy
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Meh, I lost count during them defeaning me by all playing out of tune with each other
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Apricot
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*ching*
but even if I am the cymbal I still can't do the concert for you
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ZedHorn
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| A wrote: | | There aren't six million flutes. There are seven million. |
still too many and I bet they're still out of tune!
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greenfairy
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They are when they're not constantly giggling 
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ANTS
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| greenfairy wrote: | | They are when they're not constantly giggling |
oh giggling students.......probably more irritating than out of tune flutes...
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greenfairy
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It's not so much a quote of the week but someone can do a great impression of a drunk, stoned horse.....
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bootybandy
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| greenfairy wrote: | | It's not so much a quote of the week but someone can do a great impression of a drunk, stoned horse..... |
Waiting with bated breath..................
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windypipes
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Or is that 'beer' breath?
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Apricot
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A certain unnamed cornet player
"I found the hole first time, but it's the wrong one"
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