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Apricot · Posted: Fri Dec 01, 2006 12:47 pm Post subject:

don't think I'm gonna get this...errrrm...it's really hard 'cos I've never met Zed and 'cos I've just spent a week pretending to be a donkey!

Ok, can't remember blockbusters that well, but Zed is obviously really clever so not gonna pick that.
I have no idea who Kelli is (anyone who knows me well will not find that hard to imagine, I'm hopeless at famous people!!), but it sounds cool and Zed obviously is that too.
Therefore by process of elimination I'm gonna go for the hands 'cos that'd be 2 extra on each hand which would be quite a lot, although it might come in very useful for horn playing.

So put me out of my misery am I going to be a hungry volly dolly tonight?

ZedHorn · Posted: Fri Dec 01, 2006 1:48 pm Post subject:

'fraid it's water and stale bread for you my fruity volly dolly friend.

"donkey no lie"

but I seem to tell fibs very well!!! yep born with an extra pinky but they've gone now - would have made me an evil sax player... hence i took up the horn!!

so who gets a second chance at weeding out my lie?? GF or Rab.... there's chocolate at stake?

Z
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admin · Posted: Fri Dec 01, 2006 5:52 pm Post subject:

Sorry for the delay, this was due to a technical hitch. Broadcasting from the bush is fraught with danger! A roo jumped on the antenna.
******************NEWSFLASH**********************

FFoggy: Today we have yet another hatbox challenge… A… it isn’t you, Botty… it isn’t you, Apricot… it could be you, Rab… it isn’t you, Aaron… it could be you, GF… it could be you, Zed… it isn’t you.
That means it is between Aaron, Apricot and Green Fairy… Aaron, you will be with Apricot for this challenge! Green Fairy, you can go wash the dishes.

The unmatched pair set off into the jungle with haste (I don’t know who haste is but he is there for some reason, perhaps my medication needs upping, I don’t know but I’m also seeing stars and I don’t mean celebrities… I’m off for a lay down).

Aa: So, it looks like it is just us two Apricot me old fruit!
Apricot (Ap from now on cos typing Apricot takes forever and I’m in danger of wearing my fingertips out): Don’t you get any ideas about me, I’m not in here to make the front page of the Navy News or the back page of the Blue Band. I was hoping to get some practice in whilst I was here but being stuck in that donkey has made my hands all strange. I picked my Clarinet up earlier and I couldn’t press the B key with the little finger of my right hand!
Aa: Ohhh you play the liquorish stick! I had you down as a bass player!
Ap: Bass player! Me! I’ll have you know I have got qualifications and do you think that at 5’6” I could carry a bass around the streets?
Aa: Why would you want to carry a large sea fish around as well as an instrument?
Ap: You can be quite silly at times can’t you?
Aa: I do try! Have you got the map?
Ap: Yes
Aa: Where are we then?
Ap: We are here
Aa: No, show me on the map, I’m really tired and don’t think I can go on much further.
Apricot puts the map on the floor and stands on it
Ap: we are here, although why I had to show you on the map I don’t know!
Aa: NO, I meant point to where we are on the map. It doesn’t matter, there is a clearing up here and I think it is up there we’ll be doing the challenge. Could you do me a favour and pull all these leaves off me, they are all getting stuck to my stubble.
Apricot starts pulling all the leaves from Aaron’s prickly fur to find a selection of boiled sweets, toast, a few confectionary crumbs and half a mars bar underneath the foliage.
Ap: Ohhhh I think I’ll save these, A is gagging for something sweet!
Aa: Well I have offered but she wasn’t very polite when she told me what to do with myself. She has a sick mind you know. I never knew ladies could swear like she did!
Ap: I’m sure she misunderstood you. I think she thought you were offering something else when you rolled on you back and said “Here you go babe, help yourself, I’m all sweet underneath!”
Aa: So you think that she thinks I was thinking something else that I wasn’t thinking but thought I was thinking of something I wasn’t thinking.
Ap: I think so!

Upon approaching the clearing, having lost haste somewhere on the way there the pair have a sit down to read the instructions for the challenge…

Your challenge today is to get the key for the hatbox. It is hanging in front of the large picture of Pumpey and you will be required to get it by means of the ancient art of warfare by using either the catapult or the trebuchet.

Ap: What is a trebuchet?
Aa: I’m not 100% certain but from what I remember from one of the very informative articles that adorn the pages of Playvark but I seem to remember the invention of the trebuchet derives from the ancient sling. A variant of it, the staff sling, involved using a short piece of wood to extend the arm and provide greater leverage. This was evolved into the traction trebuchet by the Chinese, in which a number of people pulled on ropes attached to the short arm of a lever that has a sling on the long arm. This type of trebuchet was smaller, has a shorter range and was a more portable machine, but had a faster rate of fire than the larger counterweight powered one like the one just there. The smallest traction trebuchets could be powered by the weight and pulling strength of one person using a single rope; but most were designed and sized to utilize from 20 to 100 men, generally two per rope. These teams would sometimes be local citizens assisting in the siege or in the defense of their town. Traction trebuchets had a range of from 200 to well over 300 feet (60 to 100+ meters) when casting weights up to 130 pounds (60kg). Occasionally it was used to throw the bodies of people and animals who had died from various diseases including the black plague over castle walls, in an attempt to infect the people under siege. Somehow I feel that one of us may be the cargo of the said trebuchet in the quest for the key dangling over there on the long piece of string that is inaccessible by any other means than flight and seeing as neither of us have wings, this is the only way we are going to be able to get the key. I digress my clarinet playing friend, please, read on.

The hatbox will be left in the toilet back in camp for you to collect. One of you will be dressed in the Velcro suit and your aim is to catch the key and then stick to the hair of the Pumpey figure. If you stick to the hair the board will swivel around and safely lower you down where your partner will be able to reach you, pull you off and get you to safety. Please, be careful when aiming…

Ap: Right, let’s get you into that Velcro suit Aaron!
Aa: Me, why me?
Ap: Well, look at it.
Aa: Yea, I have, it looks like it is going to be a tad tight for you.
Ap: Aaron, there is no way so long as the Volunteer Bands get provided with free drinks on gigs that I am going to fit in that suit!
Aa: Dunno so much. I could chop a few bits off you to make it fit!
Ap: Don’t get any ideas about chopping me up and get that suit on before I call GF and A to fold you up and insert you into that suit without the aid of any…
Aa: OK, Shut up, I’ll get on with it, if it will shut you up! I’m looking forward to you pulling me off at the end of the challenge though

Aaron donned the suit of much stickyness and climbed into the basket.
Aa: Make sure you aim properly or it is curtains for me. Don’t overwind the thing either, two or three turns should do it. I don’t want to go too far. If it isn’t enough I’ll fall short and lord only knows where I’ll land. Be careful when you pull the fire thing, I don’t want to be taken by surpriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiissseeeeeee”
Ap: Whoops!
With that Aaron was airbourne, flying through the air at the speed of a reasonably streamlined object at a speed conducive to such an object having been propelled with sufficient energy to make it go a very long way! With an inhuman swipe, Aaron grabbed the key on the way past toward the cut out figure of Pumpey’s Velcro head. An almighty bang followed as Aaron hit the aforementioned cranium of the Pumpey cutout figure and carried straight on through the head of Pumpey as bits of bonce were showered everywhere. Arron’s continuing journey was cut short by a tree which Aaron hit with considerable force, considering the vector sum of all forces acting on it, and caused the tree superficial damage. Sadly, the same cannot be said for Aaron. A poorly vark is not a happy vark and Aaron voiced this in the only way that a poorly vark can; “Owwwwwwwwwwwmebleedinhead!”

Apricot could, although some distance away, hear this cry of from Aaron and made the only respose one could expect at this juncture in time “Did you get the key Aaron?”
Aa: Thank you for your concern about my disfigured body and all the pain I am currently enduring. My present predicament precludes me from knowing if I was successful in my attempt to procure the aforementioned item whilst passing it at a speed that that a vark clearly should not travel. I am currently upside down, velcroed to the vines of this tree in very close proximity to a bee’s nest. Your presence here is urgently requested before the Apoidea in the nest decide it is time to use me as a pin-cushion.
Ap: Aaron, I can’t help but notice our vocabularies have increased exponentially and our language has become Victorian. Perhaps we have slipped into a novel of the Victorian horror zeitgeist or worse yet, a film of the hellraiser genre!
Aa: I don’t care, just get me down from this position, I’ve gone all woosy!

With that, Apricot sprang into action covering the distance to the foot of the tree in a few moments of time (Time being the grouping of notes into regular sets and forms by means of the strongest natural reoccurring accent ot the conscious moment of thought depending upon which interpretaion you decide to accept as the given truth). With a huff and a puff she shook the tree. Huff was digging out blind but the Puff just stood there complaining that the camoflage didn’t suit him and that blue was much more his colour. As the tree shook, so did Aaron and after a while the Velcro gave way and Aaron plunged downwards landing on Apricot sending her sprawling.

Ap: Ohhhhhh That hurt!
Aa: You should try going through Pumpey first and then doing it. My whole body aches, I think I’ve broken something.
Ap: Yes, ME!
Aa: Well we’d best get back to camp, thanks Huff and Puff for getting me out. It seems you’ve also cured me of my peach inspediment!
Ap: And me
Huff: No worries cobber
Puff: I think I’ve broken a nail!

The two sped off, well as fast as they could limp and hobble and Aaron was very limp, back to camp to collect the hatbox from the heads. Upon arrival at the camp they got the hatbox from the dunny and Aaron produced the key…
Opening the hatbox they saw a note from The man at C&A saying “Sorry, closed for stocktaking”
Luckily before closing for stocktaking he had put a crate of Boddington’s, a bottle of Chianti, two bars of Galaxy, a carton of Um Bongo, copy of the latest Blue Band and The new Diversions CD he’d stolen from the stock room and pencil sharpener!

Aaron was disappointed not to be pulled off at the end of the challenge but Apricot does have standards!
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FFoglamp · Posted: Fri Dec 01, 2006 6:04 pm Post subject:

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh !

Well that was the challenge recorded earlier today. Now they are all sat around snugly and smugly, with plenty of food and drink. This explains why Rab, Apricot and GF haven't had a go at the lie game.

As the answer to Zed's was wrong, you can all pile in for the second chance, but just for fun. NO MARMITE for the Doc until the aforementioned three have a go.

But..........................as well as fun and games in the diary room, and the hatbox challenge, and the guess the lie game (ongoing) (please)...............................................................................................
......................

Its ..................

Spoiler:

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Mmmmmmm PIE!!! How rare.

A · Posted: Fri Dec 01, 2006 8:03 pm Post subject:

A double eviction? Noooooo...
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FFoglamp · Posted: Sat Dec 02, 2006 1:33 pm Post subject:

Yup, you've had long enough just doing nothing but eating loads and drinking alll those treats, and then when you get bored you all bugger off on weekend. What is this, an Open Jungle ?

I think not.

So, listen carefully. Only 3 meals as some of the lies have not even been attempted. If no one goes to guess we'll never know the true tales.

.................and for further punishment, go to EPISODE ELEVEN,,

...........................NOW ...............................
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Mmmmmmm PIE!!! How rare.

admin · Posted: Sat Dec 16, 2006 8:39 pm Post subject:

Locked
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The online home of the Royal Marines Band Service