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Jim Mason · In Training Joined: 14 Nov 2005 Posts: 25 Location: Havant

I would hesitate to quote any of the various DOMs/BMs that I served with, however they were not the only ones to make memorable comments!

I was serving as a Bandmaster in a cruiser during the 50s, touring the Mediterranean ports and the band performed a "Beat Retreat" ceremony on leaving each port of call.

We were joined by a new (very enthusiastic) Captain of Marines, in command of the RM Detachment on board, and after he had witnessed a "Beat Retreat", he decided that this should be enhanced by a RM Guard of 30, to make a joint show, culminating with the firing of a "Feu de Joie"

He and I worked out a suitable routine and we decided to try it out in Tobruck. I went through the band routine with him and remember saying that we would play one verse of the Evening Hymn, there would be a short break (a couple of seconds) and then we would play the second verse in a different key. He said understandingly, "You change key" and then stowed this gem of information away for future reference.

He gave a full briefing and explanation the combined band and detachment, and when he came to the crucial bit, stated "The band will play one verse of the Evening Hymn, there will be a short break, to give the band time to change key before the second verse!!"

I had great difficulty maintaining decorum in the band!

I think he imagined that I used some sort of gear lever!!

Jim

General Melchett · Posted: Fri Jul 07, 2006 1:54 pm Post subject:

They're good soldiers, but try to get them to do something with no rehearsal and just a quick briefing and anything can - and usually does happen!
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“All men are equal. All men, that is, who possess umbrellas.”
~ E.M. Forster

A · Posted: Fri Jul 07, 2006 1:58 pm Post subject:

It's not 100% on topic, but at a massed pongo concert at Knellar Hall on Wednesday night (with my other half performing)

I did have to suppress a giggle when, after the finale, the PDOM CAMUS said

'If you've enjoyed this evening, tell your friends, if you didn't, thankyou for listening to the Band of The Royal Marines.'

greenfairy · Posted: Fri Jul 07, 2006 2:11 pm Post subject:

Sounds about right!
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General Melchett · Posted: Fri Jul 07, 2006 2:55 pm Post subject:

They do try, bless them....
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“All men are equal. All men, that is, who possess umbrellas.”
~ E.M. Forster

A · Posted: Fri Jul 07, 2006 2:59 pm Post subject:

And they did very well. Programme was a bit bland but that's not the musician's fault. I enjoyed it.
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Co-admin · Site Admin Joined: 05 Nov 2005 Posts: 1798

Two people who shall remain nameless apart from Jnr rank and SNCO (both outside now). The Jnr rank was having some personal problems and needed some time off for and was talking to the SNCO:

Luckily the boss was human and sent him away straight away.
Fortunately we don't have this kind of person in the bands anymore. How the JnrRank didn't stick one on him is beyond me!
If you read this, you'll know who you are and may you hang your head in shame

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lesbryan · Posted: Fri Jul 07, 2006 4:17 pm Post subject:

I know howthat jnr/rank felt .something very similar happened to me when my father died .we were coming from singers on the berryhead when my father died.we were just crossing stations far east to middle(it was a steaming crew).the c in c far east said i could go home as we crossed stations the g in c middle east said i could not .We were on our way to mombas we would have got there i could flown for the funeral and flown by the time the ship got to durban but no i could not be spared the skipper said yes the jimmy said yes the c in c said said no.Yiu could imagine how i felt .I have never forgave the RN for that or the c in c

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General Melchett · Posted: Fri Jul 07, 2006 6:34 pm Post subject:

Crikey, I'm not surprised Les. That's unforgivable.
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“All men are equal. All men, that is, who possess umbrellas.”
~ E.M. Forster

mrbassbone · Posted: Fri Jul 07, 2006 7:30 pm Post subject:

Dusty Miller · Posted: Mon Jul 10, 2006 10:02 am Post subject:

During my time on FOF 3 there were many memorable occasions apparently! and this is one I nearly remember.

During our stay in New York on Invincible in 84, the band got an invite to a USMC reserve barracks, somewhere I think north of Manhattan, I’m sure someone will remember the occasion and the place.

It was during this visit that the then Bandmaster (PF) no names, who was of a religious persuasion let his halo slip a little, and had rather too much to drink.

Now you had to be there right, but imagine the scene when dear old Johnny Bushell the long suffering BdCsgt appears with the CO of the place in tow, John taps PF on the shoulder, (who is deep into a dit with some of the band) to attract his attention with no response, so deeming the CO to be more important than Bandy’s dit John puts his hand on his shoulder and turns him physically to try and introduce him to the CO, well it’s conjecture as to what was in the Bandy’s mind at this point, was it part of the dit he was telling or what, who knows, in fact who gives a sh%t, it was so funny, but at that point the conversation went like this.

JB: “Sir could I to introduce you to the Bdmr of the band WO2 PF”

PF: “Oh hello, you’ve got nice goolies”

STUNNED SILENCE

JB: “ Errrm yes well this is Musn, and Cpl etc etc etc”

PF, our man at the embassy!

FFoglamp · Posted: Sun Jul 16, 2006 9:32 pm Post subject:

Nice one Dusty ! Not naming but then giving the initials, band, year, and "persuasion" is hardly hiding his identity !!!

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Mmmmmmm PIE!!! How rare.

Dan A · Posted: Mon Jul 17, 2006 10:32 am Post subject:

FOSNI Band circa 1973 Cannon Hill Park..in Brum.... prior to display the Band were inspected by the Mayor... a fat geezer with a very broad brummy accent. he stands in front of Cpl Bulger Geordie Rowell and says rrrrrrrrrrr your a bit fat to be a Royal Marine... reply from geordie... your a bit ignorant to be a Mayor!!!!!
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bootybandy · Posted: Mon Jul 17, 2006 9:34 pm Post subject:

I cannot qualify this dit to be 100% true, but it would seem likely if you know who I'm talking about. A certain Drum Major.....got it yet??? On the Ark Royal Band in 1976 had the Band lined up on the Flight Deck for a Beat Retreat rehearsal. At the end of the rehearsal he said, all those with a father still living take a pace forward...........all those that met that requirement duley did. This Drum Major then said, "Where are you going Brown"? (This was Colin Brown, Trombone player who eventually joined the RN as an Occifer and became a Navigator on Helos.) As I said I can't be 100% sure, but someone who was there at that time might be able to either confirm or deny it.
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Hornblower · Posted: Fri Sep 29, 2006 1:02 pm Post subject:

Cardiff Tattoo rehearsals, Fleet Dog-Ends, Army band and Ghrukas too.

The Army Major - who's name escapes me at the moment, but he was famed for writing some truly Doggo Tunes and Arrangements - was berating the Royal Corps for their dressing!! (Cheek

)

He got to me and started to tell me that my dressing was out and to move forward or back or something.

I stayed exactly where I was. I was perfectly dressed thank you very much and I didn't need some Pongo officer to tell me I wasn't.

He politely (!) asked me if I had heard him and I replied, (very respectfully), "Yes sir."

"Well move then!" He continued in his dulcet tones.

I stayed where I was. (I'm not saying that my behaviour was right, I just knew that I was dressed and I didn't want to move into a position that would leave me out of line. Even I had my pride you know!!!

)

He started to do what any self-repecting person of rank would do in this type of situation - shout. This always worked with me, ask MJ!!!

I was resolute, my dressing was fine and I wasn't going to move. End of. Full stop. Nuff said. Endex.

I told him my dressing was fine and that I wasn't going to move. (I was really calm too).

He lost it.

And uttered the famous words that echoed through Dog-End corridors for quite some time.

"Don't argue with me, even if I'm wrong!"

I did move eventually. Directly after a 7 pace roll

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