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FFoglamp · Posted: Fri Nov 17, 2006 8:27 am Post subject: I'm a Forum Member - EPISODE 2

Hi forummers !

Well there are still 10 in there, starving, waiting for Botty's poem and piccy.

The 10 members in here can vent their spleeen today on here, as its also the diary room. So, come on you lot, come and bitch on your oppos, you know its confidential.

We will soon be eliminating members, so I need you to post on here to say why you should be kept in, and what your biggest attributes are !

The team will be in today (hopefully) - Deli with Celebrity Hat Box, and Hornblower and Mr J Pig monitoring the sausages.

Today's vote was suggested by Townsergeant.

Who would you like to see in the jungle shower ? Vote now !

Perhaps you would like to see the young Vic Shaw, or the lovely Green Fairy ? Maybe your thing is for the bulging muscles of Pompey Rich, or the polished ar$e of an Aardvark.

Its a tough one to decide, but don't forget. it could also be Rab bending over. So, choose carefully. VOTE NOW.

L8ters FF

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FFoglamp · Posted: Fri Nov 17, 2006 8:54 am Post subject:

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh !!! 2 votes already, and only been open for 15 mins. Aaron Aardvark leading on the early showing. Perhaps this is the identity unveiling ?

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Aaron Aardvark · Posted: Fri Nov 17, 2006 9:11 am Post subject:

MrJpig · Posted: Fri Nov 17, 2006 9:35 am Post subject:

Well the tension is mounting here at the camp....will botty be a pro at the prose......will we find out who has AA`s a`as in their bed and will his identity be uncovered for all to see? keep voting cos its your votes that decide.

I will be interested to see how BOTTY can put his poem onto a locked thread???

I am also a bit concerned about one of our presenters as he was last seen heading to the creek with a pair of violet nix in his dhoby bucket and practising his royal bow !!

Catch y`all later or as they say in these parts...YIBERDEEYABERDEE!!

RAB · Posted: Fri Nov 17, 2006 2:47 pm Post subject:

..ME..??? In a SHOWER..????..Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

After last night's escapade with that dung heap (not you LES), I need more than a bloody shower..!!!! Les might not be so tall, but he is a gasping great 18 stones of pure Pussers, and boy when he farts there's no mistaking his preferential tipple..

So I'll just settle for a nice long soak in a jaccuzi bath with candles all around, and of course Army of the Nile playing in the background (pipe band version of course)..

NOW WHERE'S BOTTY...????? I'M KIN STARVING IN HERE...!!!!!

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mrbassbone · Posted: Fri Nov 17, 2006 3:07 pm Post subject:

Green Fairy is the one. Do your really want to see Aaron in the shower at ANY TIME of the day?

Aaron Aardvark · Posted: Sat Nov 18, 2006 8:14 am Post subject:

Im hungry!! Botty has gone awol. And where the hell was the hatbox?

A · Posted: Sat Nov 18, 2006 8:38 am Post subject:

Poo in his bed til he does his Bushtucker Trial!
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Aaron Aardvark · Posted: Sat Nov 18, 2006 9:08 am Post subject:

Lets all poo in his bed!!!

Thing is......i haven't got any poo left

I have managed to find a sneaky termite mound over by the lagoon. Your welcome to share if you can hack the little buggers biting your waggly thing at the back of yer throat.

A · Posted: Sat Nov 18, 2006 9:25 am Post subject:

Um, thanks, but I'll pass. I appreciate your generosity though! Why don't we just dump the poo you left in MY pit into Bottys?
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Aaron Aardvark · Posted: Sat Nov 18, 2006 9:42 am Post subject:

Good idea.......it should be nice and ripe now.

Anyway........I have just seen something very disturbing. Les was having a furious row with Rab. Turns out, Rab stole one of Les's socks and Les wasn't very happy because his other one was all crusty and he needed a fresh one. Cant think what all the fuss is over. Why just argue over one sock

FFoglamp · Posted: Sat Nov 18, 2006 10:30 am Post subject:

Les will probably be happy with one sock. Why do you need a second one at night time anyway ? Waaaahh.

Anyway, my colleague Dec...... errr....... Stuey the Hornblower, can't make it today, he got a tummy bug. Too many burnt cold sausages he picked up in the jungle.

But, Deli, and Mr J pig will no doubt be dropping in today, to keep an eye on the little starving junglies.

Firtstly, keep those votes coming in !!!! We need to know who you want to see in the jungle shower !!!! Voting closes tonight around ISH time ?

Aaron Aardvark still in front by a nose. Mind you it is a very long nose.

Right contestants, we have some delicious meals prepared here for you
just waiting to crane in to you. But, where are the stars.

Where are you BOTTY ?

We desperately need your poem and picture with a sausage. Otherwise your bed will be the biggest aard dung heap this side of Merthyr.

Anyway, stay tuned, a challenge coming soon ....................

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admin · Posted: Sat Nov 18, 2006 10:38 am Post subject:

**************NEWSFLASH***************
Today is pirate day in camp. All of the contestants are dressed as Pirates and Botty has taken the extreme step of chopping off half his left leg with a toothbrush to give him that authentic look. Not realising there weren’t any wooden legs in the kit supplied he is currently using the chopping board as a wooden leg.
The task is about to begin and the two selected are… drum roll… more roll… crescendo… tishhhhhhhh GF and A!
Quickly sorting themselves out they head off into the jungle following the pirate map carrying a huge nautical compass between them on a heading of Nor’nor’east at full bimble. The binnacle weighs a lot: in pounds it would be some and in kilogram’s it is a lot but they can just about cope with it. Huffing and puffing they head up the steep incline of the hill… a big hill, much bigger than Harry Hill (as he is a comedian and a short one at that) or Benny Hill or Butser Hill. Upwards and onwards they huff and puff, with the binnacle compass type thing getting heavier by the second as their arms tire and feet ache as they make their way through the jungle.
GF: Oh look, a skull and cross bones
A: Where?
GF: There! At the top of the hill

The two drop the heavy binnacle and walk toward the flag. There they meet our two suave and charming hosts.
FF: Hello and welcome to this task
HB: We’ve called it walking the plank

The two volley dollies see a long plank sticking out over the edge of a cliff with stars hanging from underneath it. Their face change into looks of horror as they realise just how high up they are.
GF: We’re not good with heights
FF: We know, that’s why we chose the pair of you
HB: Your task is to walk along the plank and get the hatbox that is hanging from that branch on a rope. You’ll be wearing a harness and if you fall off you will be lowered down and have to walk the long way back to camp
FF: and it is a LONG way back to camp going this way
A: I’ll go first, I don’t fancy trying to get the last one off the end
FF: Don’t worry too much, you’ll be wearing these eye patches, two each!
HB: And if you are worried about being dizzy, you’ll spend 3 minutes on this roundabout before you go try getting the hatbox from the end of the plank!

GF & A get put on the roundabout and it starts spinning .GF & A are then let off the roundabout and both are very dizzy (Yes, nothing new there is there!) GF begins crawling along the plank with A in close pursuit. Feeling their way along and wobbling from side to side they slowly crawl to the end of the plank.
HB: OK girls, you are now at the end of the plank. You must stand up and get the hatbox that is hanging in front of you.
As the girls stand up they are swaying from side to side. GF reaches up to grab the hatbox and touches it with her fingertips and starts it swinging. Ffoggy gently tugs on the rope to hoist it another inch higher.
FF: I think you are going to have to bounce a bit to get the box
The 2 girls begin to bounce the plank up and down, tapping the box from time to time they make it swing wildly. Each time they get close Ffoggy hoists the hatbox up another inch (Rotten? Yes, Funny? You bet!!)
HB: OK girls you have ten seconds left.
The two girls now look like springboard diving pirates who are very drunk.
HB: five seconds
The girls make one last jump and grab the hatbox. As they hit the plank Hornblower does what his name says and gives them a full on airhorn 3 inches from their ears! The two fly forward into the abyss in front of them
FF: Sorry girls he shouts as they fall the 2oo feet to the jungle floor below. “Looks like it is the long way home for you two
HB: How long is long FFoggy?
FF: Should be about a week!
HB: A week?
FF: Yes, if they run but it won’t do them much good cos the ice cream in the hatbox will have melted by then!
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FFoglamp · Posted: Sat Nov 18, 2006 12:00 pm Post subject:

Yes Greenfairy and A are missing. Perhaps they will fight their way back to the camp sometime, oooh arrrr Jim lad !

.........and to think all the time they were grabbing for the hat box, there were some stars hanging underneath.

Keep voting for the shower thingy, and who you want to see under it.
8 to choose from, now 2 are AWOL !!!

Episode 1 may be locked, but here is the place to be, to dump your mutterings.....................especially if your name is BOTTY.

Still awaiting a poem, and a piccy.............and swap sausages for stars for meals.

And for the contestants whinges.............go to the diary room.

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FFoglamp · Posted: Sat Nov 18, 2006 4:39 pm Post subject:

I think Botty escaped from the jungle for a few hours to go to Fratton Park. Perhaps he'll come back and reveal all later. Meanwhile Aaron Aardvark leads the voting from Greenfairy in 2nd.

Mind you GF can't win if she's AWOL !

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