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FFoglamp

Voting time for the next eviction, kiddies !!!!

So vote carefully. Think of those that contribute to the diary room, and the whole of the sub forum, and the hat box challenges and the stories and poems. Then think of those that don't bother (or those that don't realise that the sub forum does not flash up in orange, and therefore don't know that there are new posts to read and digest).

I could always PM then, but then again............naaaaaaaaaa !!!

So, please vote for the person you next want out. Voting closes...er...........whenever !!!

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Mmmmmmm PIE!!! How rare.

admin · Posted: Sun Nov 26, 2006 11:28 am Post subject:

The hatboxers have just set off, tune in later to read about their adventures.
So far there are 8 votes, the hatbox will not be posted until there are another 2 votes. If you want to see the innane ramblings of a disturbed admin then Vote Vote Vote...
I must go now, the doctor said it is time for my medication...
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RAB · Posted: Sun Nov 26, 2006 12:41 pm Post subject:

admin · Posted: Sun Nov 26, 2006 2:15 pm Post subject:

***************NEWSFLASH*****************
Once again it is story time so I want you all to sit down and be quiet. Rab, have you been to the toilet? I think you should go now, don’t you? I don’t want another incident like last week… off you go and take GF with you; we don’t want a stereo problem now do we? Off you trot the pair of you and no loitering in the corridor, the animal wranglers will have you if you don’t have a toilet pass and remember, it’s a jungle out there! Off you go, we’ll wait for you. Tum te dum dum dum, diggy dum, tum tee dum dum dum bap bar bar diggy diggy dop dop parrrrrrrrr. Be dop dop dar, dar dar. Any of you other children know that tune? Yes you, the ugly one at the back, do you? Well I suggest you all get your march recognition books out and start revising in your own time. You’ll never go to heaven if you don’t know your marches. Ahhh Rab & GF are back. Sit down you two and please stop dribbling Donkey. Are you sitting comfortably? Good, then I shall begin.
It was early morning and the sun was just setting as the names for the hatbox were announced by our resident lunatic Felix of the Ffoglamp Where the hell is Hornblower by the way?

FF: Ladles and jelly spoons. In the blue corner, I present the welsh slayer, the wellie warlock… Booooottttttyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy and in the other blue corner… the one, the only, the ultimate fan, the undisputed champion of the poor actors… the one who is green. Greeeeeeeeennnnn Faaaaiiiirrrryyyyyy!

Look, I’m running out of ideas and not trying to fill space OK, I know what you are thinking; as the dustbin said to the darlek! The extra letters are due to the fact that there is feedback on Ffoggy’s microphone and there is a terrible echo in the jungle tonight.

FF: So, Botty (hitherto referred to as BT) and Green Fairy (hitherto referred to as GF) are duly elected members of the jungle party and now your candidates to stand for this stunning hatbox challenge. Please go put on your shin pads, football boots, crash helmets, gloves, bright orange swimming arm bands, nose plugs, ear defenders and goggles and head off to the challenge area.

Suitably dressed the two headed off out of camp. Aaron went off for a swim, A went for a shower, Rab slinked off into the bushes with his newspaper that he brought in with him on day one, and Zed went to collect firewood with the stuffed donkey.

As BT & GF (Botty and Green Fairy, remember, I said this was the way they would be known for the duration of this little story) headed off into the bush (no, not INTO THE bush, I mean the jungle, the other two went into the bush and even I’m not that stupid to make this two do it again!) the camp began their daily life.

GF: You OK Botty?
BT: Yea, just feeling a bit low on the old blood sugar. I ate some of those berries last night and they don’t agree with me
GF: You do look a bit pale mate. We’ll soon be at the challenge site. According to the map there is a fork in the track up here. If we split up and go along the two tracks we might find some goodies and explore a little more. They meet up again after 500 metres.
BT: Sounds like a plan, I might find some more of those berries to eat
GF: I’d be careful what you eat mate you don’t Yeeeeeeeooooowwwwww! What the hell is that stuck in my foot
BT: Looks like a fork to me mate!
GF: When it said fork I thought it meant fork, not FORK. Quick, get it out for me will you?
BT: Well, if you want me to, but I hardly know you and I don’t normally put out on the first date, well, not often anyhow
GF: NO! Will you please get the fork out of me
BT: Get the fork out of you… but I’m not in you ha ha ha
GF: No, will you please assist me to remove the item of cutlery stuck in my foot
BT: Ahhhh, sorry, I see, crossed wires again m’dear, often happens at my age. Hold still old gal, this may hurt a tad and make your eyes smart. Shouldn’t I leave it for Zed to remove?
GF: No, I can take it
BT: Should I remove the fork first then?
GF: No, I mean the pain, just get the fork out of me and then go down that track, it is longer than the route I’ll take but I’ll not be moooooooooooving
BT: There, all done. I’ll take that track as it is longer and you can’t move as fast as me so I’ll wait for you at the next junction where the tracks meet up.
GF: That was what I was suggesting
BT: Good plan my green friend! Tally Ho

With that BT shot up the low road leaving GF to hobble along the high road but we all know who’ll be at he junction before who (sorry, couldn’t resist it!)

As GF approached the rendezvous she could hear strange noises like someone being sick. As she got closer she could see Botty sat on a rock throwing up. In his hand he had an Italian sausage.

GF: Where did that RAF Regt bloke come from?
BT: Bleeeeeeuggghhhhh, I don’t feel well
RAF Regt Chap: I got lost on survive-ex and bumped into this bloke eating this Polonia sausage it was glowing and I was attracted to the light. I think he’s been poisoned. Look his eyes are glowing. You need to get him back to your camp as soon as possible
GF: No problem, the camp is just down the bank here. I’ll have him back in a jiffy.

GF grabbed BT off the RAF Regt chap, said thank you, bade him farewell and then threw him down the steep bank. Botty rolled like a cheese in a hill rolling competition. Barf sprayed everywhere as GF followed him down in double hobble time through the bushes. Botty crashed through the bushes and landed in the middle of the camp knocking Zed over…

Z: What the hell is up with him and why has he got a glowing BOB in his hand?
GF: It is Polonia sausage and I think he’d been poisoned!
Z: Right, time for action. I was briefed on this in the diary room. Apricot, Eastneyslapper and Windypies have formed the “People’s fwront for Welease A and Gween Fairwee fwom the bush”
GF: Oh, I thought it was the “Popular People’s front for Welease A and Gween Fairwee fwom the bush”
Z: It was, but they weren’t very popular. Right, Rab, go find something to make a tent out of, it has to be big. A, go get some fuller’s earth, we need to decontaminate him. It looks like a case of Radio 4 Polonia poisoning!
Rab: Here ya go hen. A’hhhve foond the biggest thing ahhh could. A pair of pants Pumpey left behind. Should be able tae get at least 5 o us in them. A’hhhll just rig it intae a bivvy type affair from the boughs of thas tree the noo.
Z: A any luck on the Fuller’s Earth?
A: What is fuller’s earth?
Zed: The name reflects the first use of the material. In past centuries, fullers kneaded fuller's earth and water into raw woolen fibre to absorb lanolin, oils, and other impurities. Fuller's earth was also sold in pharmacies until recently for compressing pills and it is sometimes used by crane operators and their oilers to absorb grease and oil off the brake bands on the winches to make them function properly. Fuller's earth is also used by military forces to clean soldiers who are contaminated with chemical weapons.
A: OK… but where do I find some?
Stuffed Donkey: Aaron’s dirt box is full of it
A: Ewwwwwwwwww I’m not going anywhere near Aaron’s dirt box anyhow, he’s just gone down the river to have a wash
GF: I think stuffed donkey means Aarons litter tray!
A: Ewwwwwww that smells as well
GF: Quick, lets all get some sieves and sieve out all Aaron’s nuggets. We can then dusty Botty off in the fuller’s earth. He might survive then.

With great haste, the remainder started to sieve Aaron’s litter tray to remove the lumps. Zed stood over Botty in Pumpey’s pant tent and held his hand whist comforting him saying it would be a slow yet painful illness if they couldn’t sort him out. At the same time Zed was also shouting things like “Get me a line in here”, “Stat, his BP is PU the Window”, “Scalpel, I need blood gasses now”, “Does my bum look big in this” etc… Zed stripped Botty off and after removing his jumper she noticed he was wearing a Southampton FC football Shirt with the name Pumpey on the back.

As Aaron returned from having a dhobi the whole gang were rolling around in the litter tray throwing the powder all over Botty and Zed
Aa: What the hell are you lot doing throwing it around in my dirt box?
Zed: Sorry Aaron, needs must
Aa: Needs be b*&&^%d! Get out of my dirt box, that’s where I keep all my golden nuggets. It is bad form to enter an Aardvark’s dirt box uninvited you know.
Rab: Sorry mucker we had to, it’s for Botty, and he’s not well!
Aa: I don’t care, I turn my back for 2 minutes and you lot are in my dirt box and throwing it around without so much as a by your leave! Get out of my dirt box now, or the claws are out.
Zed: We think Botty has had a dodgy sausage resulting in Polonia Sausage Poisoning.
Aa: Why didn’t you say? Just let me know when you are all done, I’m touching cloth here and my need is greater than his I can tell you.

With that, FF walked into the camp.
FF: Well guys. It seems that the hatbox challenge has been sabotaged by the ‘People’s front for Welease A and Gween Fairwee fwom the bush’ but we’ve decided to give you the hatbox anyhow. Here you go and please keep an eye out for anything suspicious
Aa: Suspicious as in people uninvited into my dirt box and throwing the muck around everywhere?
FF: No Aaron as in people wearing balaclavas carrying glowing sausages!

A: Open the box then
Zed: Yea, can’t wait to see what we’ve got
Rab: A’hhhll dee it… there is a note frae Aalbert ann it says: To all my chums from Albert.
Rab: Aaron, there is some more litter tray mix for you and some frozen ants. I’ve got a wee bottle of scotch, Zed you have the Lancet, A has some manuscript, GF has some AA Batteries and a walkman with the soundtrack to Pirates on it, Botty has a season ticket to Southampton FC from his mate Bradley and Stuffed Donkey has a copy of Playmule plus there is a large box of sweets! Happy days!
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RAB · Posted: Sun Nov 26, 2006 2:44 pm Post subject:

bootybandy · Posted: Sun Nov 26, 2006 6:53 pm Post subject:

Keeerrrrrrriiiiissst. I'm going doo-lally. Let me out of here. I can't take anymore of this drivel.... I even voted for myself to be rid of such Babbling buffoonary...
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FFoglamp · Posted: Sun Nov 26, 2006 7:41 pm Post subject:

WaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaHHHHH !!!

Fabbo blog from Deli. The things you have to do to get Botty to bite and post in here !!! It's taken days, but well worth it

Now we can vote him off !!! Unless he gets too radioactive first. He's only in a bad mood as he has been inadvertently wearing Red + White in the jungle

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Mmmmmmm PIE!!! How rare.

FFoglamp · Posted: Sun Nov 26, 2006 11:02 pm Post subject:

Right then, its been a beautiful sunday (not) sensa Hornblower !

Voting CLOSED !!!!!!

Rab,AA,A,Z - its not you !!!!!

GF - you came 3rd, so you have to stay !!!!

Botty it might be you, and the very animated life and soul of the party STIFFED DONKEY, it might be YOU.

OK, out of misery time, grab yer wellies and yer sheep, boyo,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

its Bye Bye BOTTY !!!

Make your way out of the camp, we have a chopper waiting to casevac you to Porton Down.

[Botty leaves camp, still moaning about what pointless drivel this has all become to him, and the fact that Pompey lost today.]

OK a new vote is required for ...............................

...................see part 10 .

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Mmmmmmm PIE!!! How rare.

admin · Posted: Sat Dec 16, 2006 8:39 pm Post subject:

Locked
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