The official forum of the Royal Navy Volunteer Bands

Baaaaaaaaaaass · Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2007 12:43 pm Post subject:

I remember being on HMS Ocean for some Fleet Review or another....

No, there's more!

We're dress rehearsing for some reason best know to the Navy and the youngest Bugler had to sound the alert.

He was super-Pussers and smartly yanked his bugle up and out and to his lips.

Good job his epaulette button pinged off and doinked the PDM right on his swede.

"Extra parade ********" he growled and we duly stepped off.

Tink! went the PDM's spur....

Yoink! went Bglr So-n-so.

"Sir, is this your?"

He went a pretty colour and was last seen scampering towards his cabin.

Guess you had to have been there, eh?

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Use the soft part of your finger!!

Hornblower · Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2007 12:49 pm Post subject:

Some dits don't translate too well B11a'sss - but yours is fine!!

Give us more!!
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ITMA!

Baaaaaaaaaaass · Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2007 1:10 pm Post subject:

I'm sure many people remember a certain CDM with a thing for shouting so hard his faced permanantly changed colour.....

We had "stand-by's" one night (narrows it down a bit!!) in the Wing and he came round like a tornado.

He came into our grot and started throwing our shoes out the (7th floor) window, much to our mirth.

He then took a look in the spare locker next to mine.

Pulling out a screwed up shirt he asked "What's this Baaaaaaaaaaass?"

Me: "Um, it's a shirt, Sir"

CDM turning mauve and sniffing said shirt: "And I suppose you're gonna tell me it's not yours, eh?"

Me with a straight face: "It's not mine, Sir. It's got "Hardiman" written on it."

Just as he was about to swing for me, the Provost came in looking to nick the bloke who'd been chucking shoes out the window as the OOD had nearly been given a shoe-ing from the torrent of flying shoes.

Ah, the fun we had Scotch-Brite-ing window frames that night....
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Use the soft part of your finger!!

Nick B · 1st Clarinet Joined: 12 Jan 2006 Posts: 89 Location: Deal

My memory fades but I will stand corrected:

Horseguards rehersals 70's? PDM (Col Neville?) to Bugle Major John S.
" Are those Bugles playing in Unison!" JS "No Sir they are all playing the same note!"
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Still driving trains around in circles!

RAB · Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 12:10 am Post subject:

Possibly the same HG rehearsals at Deal.

Ear piercing was a new fashion statement for some of the more stylish young RMB's. We were warned that it was a no-no in massed bands, but a certain little hornist decided these rules didn't apply to him. As we broke off for a fag break, the eagle-eyed Corps DM (sorry name escapes me) caught a glimpse of the 'ear medal' hanging from the right ear of **** **** as he walked away.

CDM...."Oi..Hornist..!!"

No reply..

CDM.."Oi little man..!!!"

Another "I can't hear you", as he breaks into a canter.

Now very irate CDM..."OI...!!!!!...F****N GYPSY ROSE LEE...C'MERE..!!!!!"

Were you there HB..???? or TS..???

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Roads to a friend's house are never long...

Hornblower · Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 8:35 am Post subject:

Yes - I were there!

It was great fun to see ALL the Drum Majors queued up ready for their turn at 'talking' to a fantastic wee man.

I wish I'd had a camera ready at that time...

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ITMA!

mattsr · Posted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 9:58 am Post subject:

I hope you fine gentlemen and ladies of the RM band Service will forgive me for posting as an ex-RAF Musician- but this little tale concerns a certain Karl Markham who joined the Marines, then the RAF Central band, and finally gave up trying completely and joined the Welsh Guards. On one parade I was on with Karl, during an inspection- (yes, we did occasionally have them in the RAF!)- the following exchange took place:-

Bandmaster:- Why haven't you polished your medals, JT Markham?

Reply:- I don't believe in glorifying war, Sir.

A similar exchange during the annual Band Competitions at RAF Uxbridge, where guests from the Marines and Army would inspect RAF Bands:-

Army BM to RAF French Horn Player :- Is that Klear on your boots, Sargeant?

RAF Musician:- Yes Sir.

Pongo:- You wouldn't get away with that in the army!

Reply:- That's why I joined the RAF, Sir!